April 2013
2 posts
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Guest Blogging for Economically Exuberant
Hey Friends,
Grant here.
I haven’t done this sort of thing in a while, but the timing seemed right. A friend of mine runs a blog on economic philosophy, theory, etc. And not too long ago, he received an article from a disgruntled American who felt that the education system had failed him in learning how to be prepared to enter (and I loathe this phrase) “the real world.” ...
Our 2013 List of April Fools
Kim Jung Eun is going to war with everyone, that new crackpot at Apple is already announcing the 6 before we’ve even managed to download a single gig of porn onto our 5’s and the idiots down in Washington can’t seem to come to some kind of agreement on how to spell compromise. But these aren’t even the biggest fools so far this year.
So read on to see the Top Five Fools of...
March 2013
6 posts
10 tags
Smell My Cooch: The Perfect Allegory For The...
It’s been bothering you for years now. Nights have been lost tossing and turning over it. Arguments between you and your significant other have erupted whenever it comes up in conversation. Even your therapist is seeing a therapist to grapple with his issues with this dilemma: Whose vajayjay smells better, Kim’s or Kourtney’s?
It’s this age old riddle that the two vapid socialites set out to...
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The Mix Tape: 3 Songs About the Fall of Humanity
Three Songs About the End
Written by Grant Goodman
The decline of humanity is a topic that I’ll always find to be enthralling. Whether watching The Book of Eli, reading X/1999, or seeing WALL-E for the fiftieth time, the destruction of modern society on Earth never fails to capture my interest. Maybe it’s because of the idea of a fresh start. From the worst possible scenario comes...
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Let's Kick This Congress To The Curb
Imagine this: you’ve noticed a structural problem with your home, something that you have no hope in being able to fix yourself. So you call a contractor. Now maybe you chose this contractor out of all the others because you liked their ad or because your father used them. Regardless, this is the one you chose and when he comes to your house he tells you how dire the situation is—says without...
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The Mix Tape - The Front Bottoms
The Front Bottoms
Sometimes the best concerts you wind up seeing are the ones where you don’t know any of a band’s music going into the show. When the Fillmore hosted the Idobi Meltdown on Saturday, 12 of the 14 bands playing were unknowns to me. And while pretty much every act was awesome, it was the set from The Front Bottoms that stuck with me. They were up there having an...
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Margin Notes - Wendy Mass, Every Soul a Star
“Life is short, but it’s wide”
—Wendy Mass, Every Soul a Star
No, I’m not writing about philosophy. No Buddha loves you, hug-each-other, sing a song stuff here. This one’s about education. It’s about immersing yourself in the study of…well…everything.
If you’re reading this blog, you have access to the greatest source of...
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To Write Love on Her Arms
When I went to the Fillmore last month to see Satellite, Now Now, Will Anderson of Parachute, Anthony Raneri of Bayside, and Jon Foreman (of Switchfoot), I was going for the music. Some people, however, were going there to reaffirm their will to live.
The organization that was backing the tour, To Write Love on Her Arms, is an outreach program for people dealing with depression, suicidal...
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Goodbye, Mr. Moody
There was a time when, had you asked me or not, I would have told you that Californication was my favorite show on television hands down. The first two seasons spun me into the kind of whimsy that few shows can. It was smart, funny, sexy (HBO and Showtime seem to have a quota system on breasts. I’ll let you know when I crack that Divinci code), and more importantly than all of that, it...
February 2013
6 posts
8 tags
Margin Notes: "The Deep" By Anthony Doerr
Tom tries to answer, but the whole sky is rushing through the open door into his mouth.
—Anthony Doerr, “The Deep”
Dave Eggers helms this incredible project that gets published once a year. It’s The Best American Non-Required Reading collection and it’s assembled by groups of high school students who are simply sifting through all the year’s fiction and...
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Margin Notes: Charles Yu. Sorry Please Thank You.
Is language all about desire? Is desire all about loss? Would we ever need anything if we never lost anything? Is everything we ever say just another way to express: I will lose this, I will lose all of this. I will lose you?
-Charles Yu. Sorry Please Thank You.
Hi there. It’s been a little while. I’ve been reading. And writing. And listening. And grad-schooling. And I’ve...
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Debunking The Common Gun Debate Myths
Ooh, somebody stop me! - The Mask
Myth #1: Hammers Kill More People Than Assault Weapons[[MORE]]
By now I’m certain you’ve seen the FBI’s 2011 Crime Report and if you’ve somehow missed it, turn on FOX news and by day’s end Wayne LaPierre will enlighten you as to what it says. In 2011 there were 323 murders caused by rifles (which assault weapons are—sort of). On...
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5 Things Every Man Needs
Not to invoke some kind of primitive incarnation of man law, but as any true Man knows, there are certain things members of our species require to affirm themselves as a warm blooded males (the anatomical features aside). Here are a few items that veritably define manhood.[[MORE]]
1. Television
A must for men. What else would he watch Braveheart or the original Predator on? How else could...
January 2013
15 posts
7 tags
A Recommendation: Tom Chiarella on the Happiness...
I’m calling it right now. This is one of the most arresting articles I will read all year. It will be one of the most arresting articles you will read all year. I’m sure of it.
Tom Chiarella has given an account of what might be the most bizarre funeral request he will ever have. The crux of it: he was asked to give a speech at funeral for Aaron Swartz, a man he had never met. It was...
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Margin Notes: Another New World by Josh Ritter
We talked of the other worlds we’d discover As she gave up her body to me And as I chopped up her mainsail for timber I told her of all that we still had to see
—Josh Ritter, “Another New World”
This might be the greatest non-traditional love song of all time. It is a captain and his ship and their final adventure together. He has nothing in the world that means...
Local Psychic Claims to Know Original Intention of...
BETHUNE, S.C. - Local psychic and toaster repairman, Charles Plymouth, released a statement Tuesday proclaiming intimate knowledge of the true intentions behind a grocery list his father left behind. Henry Plymouth, Charles’ father died forty-three years earlier due to lung cancer and while not much remains of his estate, a hand-written grocery list he left behind has caused great debate...
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On the Menu: Charleston. Baltimore, MD.
Charleston
Baltimore, MD
French/Low Country
Make sure you wear your best suit or dress when you visit Charleston, because chef Cindy Wolf and her staff are going to make sure that whatever food leaves the kitchen is the finest they can offer. When you’re dining here, in Harbor East, you can approach the menu on the chef’s terms or on your own. There is a suggested seasonal menu...
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The Reaction: How To Treat a Book
This Week’s Question: What is the proper way to treat a book throughout its ownership?
Grant: Books make great coasters, especially for extra-sweaty pint glasses. Those pages are just magnificent when it comes to sopping up spills, too. Of course, not everyone likes to balance their drinks on a bunch of dead-tree sheets. If that’s not the path for you, don’t fear. Books make for...
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Five Silly Reasons Why Men Hate HBO's Girls
Speaking with my male friends and perusing reviews posted on the internet, there seems to be a huge discord created by HBO’s groundbreaking comedy series. So much so that Lena Dunham has been attacked from every angle by criticisms and hate. But why do men—it’s almost always men—hate Girls so much? Here are the top five reasons that I saw given as support and why the men...
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The Letterpress: The Scorch Trials by James...
The Scorch Trials by James Dashner
Young Adult, Science Fiction
Three days after I finished book one of The Maze Runner trilogy, I finished book two. The Scorch Trials operates with the same “throw our characters into a pressure-cooker” approach and mostly succeeds. If you haven’t read the first book, consider yourself done here.
***SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT***
[[MORE]]
...
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Confederate Idiocy
Why do people still love this silly old emblem of a sad, sad past?
Next Monday, our nation will usher in the second presidency of the first African American to ever win the office; a true triumph when only a hundred years ago, our current president wouldn’t have even been allowed in the same train car as his second in command. Though before inauguration day will have a chance to be...
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The Letterpress: The Maze Runner by James Dashner
The Maze Runner by James Dashner
Young Adult, Science Fiction
Thomas wakes up locked inside of an elevator. It’s rising, it’s hot, and he has no idea where the hell he is. Or who he is. There are basic memories kicking around inside of his brain, but all of the specifics—aside from his first name—have been wiped out. He doesn’t even know how old he is.
From...
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Fare Thee Well, Red Palace
I’ll never forget the night I watched a woman dressed in magnetic blue lingerie perform a sultry dance to the tune of “C Is For Cookie.” It seemed inappropriate to watch and I felt a bit dirty for a minute enjoying the mix of semi-strip tease and sugar rush swirling together in electric delight up on stage, but as I looked around the room, I noticed that all the other...
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On the Menu: Mile End Deli. Brooklyn, NY
Mile End Deli
Brooklyn, NY
You have to order the smoked meat poutine. It is, without a doubt, the best dish of fried potatoes and assorted fats that I have ever eaten. The cheese curds are thick, the brisket falls apart if you breathe on it, and the gravy is thick without being goopy. It is a perfect dish.
While you’re there, you should sample some of the other items offered at...
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Before there was fun. there was The Format.
1 tag
January 1, 2013
You may have noticed that the site has been quiet these past few weeks. That’s due to a number of factors. First, this has been an unbelievably busy year for myself and for Jared. In order to make time for what needs to be done, sometimes you have to cut out part of your once-regular routine. For both of us, that has been writing our articles for the site. Second, there’s been this...
December 2012
12 posts
10 tags
5 Messed Up Facts About Christmas
As Thanksgiving closes out and we prepare to welcome in the new year, America unites together to deck the halls and spread some cheer. Christmas is possibly the greatest empire the armies of Hallmark ever created after staging a coupe against the holiday’s origins. But while we embrace the yule tides and the silent nights, we remain largely unaware of some of December 25ths most troubling...
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Untitled.
When I was 15, I was sitting in my U.S. History classroom when some of my classmates began to talk about planes crashing into buildings. The date, September 11, didn’t mean anything at that moment. But we had heard stories and we weren’t quite sure what to make of them. I will never forget the fact that, when asked, my history teacher—my U.S. History teacher—told us that...
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The first time I heard the chorus, I said to...
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The Reaction: Half-Smokes
This Week’s Question: What is half smoked in a half smoke?
Grant: For those of you who don’t live near DC, you have no idea what a half-smoke is. To explain it simply, the half-smoke is what Jesus eats on his birthday every year. In more mundane terms, it is the best hot-dog/sausage combination you will find. So, the question asks what exactly is half-smoked in a half-smoke? ...
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The 2012 Guy's Gift Giving Guide
It’s that time of the year again and whether you happen to partake in the decking of halls, the lighting of menorahs or the airing of grievances, you probably have a laundry list of people who you feel compelled to get gifts for. Tis the season, right?
Holiday shopping is a bitch; by far one of the most stressful feats you’ll have to put your mind to this year. It’s no wonder...
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Margin Notes: Frank Turner - Love Ire & Song
“And all the things that I believed with all my heart when I was young are just coasters for beers and clean surfaces for drugs” -Frank Turner, Love Ire & Song
There are few things more crushing than the loss of hope and fire. It can come in many forms. Giving up on a dream. Watching that brilliant work of yours go completely ignored by an audience. Letting yourself go to the...
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The Reaction: Best Band Name
This Week’s Question:What is the best band name you’ve ever heard?
Grant: Right now, I’d say that title for humor goes to Iron Reagan. Metal, politics. I mean, I’d never listen to anything they ever played, but the name…the name is golden.
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Now Hear This: A Writer's Manifesto
A Writer’s Manifesto
You are a writer. At first, it was your early fascination with everything bright and colorful. You lived for the sunlight. There was song and there was flight and there was shine. And then you found out that the night had its wonders, too. Silver moons, distant stars. A different cast of characters.
You wrote something once. You made someone who didn’t exist...
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On the Menu: Ardeo+Bardeo
Ardeo + Bardeo
Cleveland Park, Washington DC
I never imagined that I’d write these words: make sure, if nothing else, you order the brussels sprouts ($7). Your small plate will have a pile of seasoned, crisp-tender sprouts, split in half. They’ll be resting on a bed of tangy yogurt, showered with finely diced apricots, and dotted with pistachio pieces. It may be the first time that...
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The Reaction: Manly Feats of Manliness
This Week’s Question: What is more impressive, the skydiver breaking the sound barrier, or Cool Hand Luke eating 50 eggs?
Grant: I wasn’t even alive when Cool Hand Luke was released. Yet, somehow, I know who Cool Hand Luke is and that he is the bane of poultry. The fact that his feat has continued to hold significance since 1967 makes Paul Newman a man of men. As for the skydiver who...
November 2012
13 posts
8 tags
The Biggest Losers of 2012
It’s been a helluva year. Banjos took the place of Autotune, Jay-Z started a NBA franchise (in Brooklyn, no less), and President Obama was able to overcome his own lackluster term. With any great triumphs, there must always be losers left in the wake. So let’s celebrate the people who came out on bottom here at the world’s end.[[MORE]]
Lance Armstrong
In a humiliating turn of...
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The Mix Tape: The Lumineers
The Lumineers
Spellbinding. That is the single best word I can apply to the self-titled album from the Denver trio. I’m also willing to say that it is a strong contender for best album I’ve heard this year. There is a staggering sonic variety to these tracks that somehow manages to form a cohesive album. It’s something that shouldn’t work.
You’ll listen to the...
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The Reaction: Political Sex Scandals
This Week’s Question: Please explain to me the nexus between famous statesmen (and women, we can’t forget the women!) and paramours.
Grant: I believe it was Pythagoras’s wife who is credited with the creation of the Lesser Theorem of Political Sanctity. The theorem states that the more involved in discipline and rule-making a person is, the more likely he or she is to rebel...
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NaNo Continues
I’ve been pulled in by National Novel Writing Month. No article today, because if I write one, I won’t hit my 1700 work mark.
-Grant
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The Stupidity of Secession: By the Numbers
As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, residents within twenty-one states have petitioned to secede from the United States of America in response to the reelection of Barack Obama. Secession is the process of withdrawing statehood and thus becoming a foreign country no longer affiliated with the our republic.
Millions of social networkers have lauded the movement, claiming that these states would be...
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On the Menu: Graffiato. China Town, Washington DC
Graffiato. China Town, Washington DC.
—Written by Grant Goodman
When it comes to small plates, I have a tendency to order all of them. Thankfully, Graffiato runs a brunch special on Saturdays and Sundays that lets you pick any three dishes for $25. Grab a friend or two and get on that.
For round one, we had an order of flatbread and pepperoni sauce. Apparently, Chef Mike Isabella did...
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The Reaction: Steak Temperature
This Week’s Question: What is your preferred temperature when eating a steak?
Grant: When eating a steak, I prefer to be around 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit or 37 degrees Celsius. It helps me to enjoy the food, instead of worrying about fever or flu.
